Appreciate ourselves!

To all you women out there who don't realise your true worth,
today's post is dedicated to you.

A lot of women out there suffer from some level of insecurity either it's about their appearance or their intelligence and so forth.
The most crucial thing that every woman needs to remember is that we are all put on this earth by God to do something special with our lives.
When we think about the reason why God put us on this earth
I think that we will realise that we are indeed worthy individuals in our own right.

God has given us the gift of intelligence to do many great things in our life.
For some it could be about going up the corporate ladder while for others it's about creating a warm and comforting home for our family.

What all women need to realise is that we all have our own gifts.
Basically we all have our own strengths such as the gift of empathy, being kind to others and so on.

What we also need to remember is to be kind to ourselves.
Don't be too harsh on ourselves.
So what if we are not all born to be the Miss World of today?
So what if we are not blessed with the intelligence of Einstein?

The key to self-fulfillment and happiness is to be more appreciative and grateful for what we have.
It's a hassle and not to mention emotionally draining when we are stressed on who is more beautiful or whether we have too many wrinkles and grey hairs.
Yes, yes..of course it's not a pretty sight to wake up looking like Mrs. Frankestein.

However what is more important is to make the most of what we have.
Try smiling often, it'll make you a whole lot younger and attractive to others.
Studies have shown that optimistic people (yup, the ones who smile like they're on a toothpaste advertisement) are more attractive and interesting than those who don't smile and constantly whine and moan about everything under the sun!

If you are not happy with yourself, you will make others around suffer too.
As they say, misery loves company.

Do you really want to do that? Rain on everyone's parade?
Answer 'yes' if you've just escaped from an asylum and
'no' if you're sane (like me).

So, the only solution the way I see it
is to begin seeing the good things about ourselves and appreciating ourselves better!

If we are not happy with certain aspects of ourselves and think that it's chipping away at our self-esteem, why don't we do something about it?

The way I see it, it's either we shut up and stop complaining about our unfortunate luck of not being this or not having that
or we eventually get off our lazy behinds and do something about it!

If we choose the second option, isn't it better to start having a plan about achieving it rather than being envious and staring daggers at those who are better than us?

When we have finally achieved our goal, always remember to be grateful that God has given us the strength and patience to work towards our goal and achieve it in the end.

So ladies, start thinking about whether you're going to take any action or not.
To be envious of others and complain incessantly or to finally
do something about it.

Stand up for yourself!

Don't you just hate people who won't stand up for themselves?
I definitely detest this type of people!
Do you know why?
When they are not happy with the outcome, they whine and complain incessantly!
They also expect others to clean up their mess for them!

This whole thing could have been avoided if they just had the guts to stand up for themselves!

Trust me, when you stand up for yourself you will respect yourself in the morning.
You will also earn the respect of others who realise that you are no doormat.

So do yourself and those around you a favour, stand up for yourself!

Get out of the rut!

I know, I know..sometimes it feels so comfortable to be in one's comfort zone that one is terribly reluctant to get out of that zone.
Well, I've got news for you!
Once you're out of your comfort zone, you'll be glad you did!

Before this I was so complacent with my surroundings that I thought it would be a complete nightmare if I got out of my ol' comfy environment.
However, once when I'm finally out of that ol' comfort zone, I realised that I could adapt to new surroundings and that I could overcome the new challenges in my life.

I'm glad that I took that first step (however frightening and intimidating it was)
but I'm glad I did.
When I look back, I think that I wouldn't be as happy as I am today if I had just accepted things as they were.
Taking that first step was scary because I was stepping into an uncharted territory..but then, what is life if we don't constantly push ourselves to face the unknown and gradually change for the better.

Actually we never know our hidden strengths until we are forced to uncover them by external circumstances.
When we realise that we have so much hidden potential, we will come to realise our own worth and appreciate ourselves better!
Soon, we will feel as if we are on top of the world and that we are better mentally prepared to face any challenge that come our way!

Love ourselves first!

I have met a lot of women who feel that they are worth nothing without a man by their side.
This is wrong!

What women have to realise is that they are indeed special individuals and have so much to give to the people around them and to the world!
If the right man happens to come along and is very supportive of her, then by all means it was meant to be.
However there are tons of women out there who still haven't found their Mr. Right and blamed themselves for it. It's not the woman's fault if she can't find a decent guy. The reality is that decent guys are very few and hard to come by. What most women have unfortunately found are jerks, morons, egomaniacs and womanisers.

Are we suppose to settle for just any tom, dick or harry?
Have you ever seen a cow with wings?

While Mr. Right takes a little bit of time finding his way to our doorstep, women must realise that life must go on! Time and tide waits for no woman or man!

We must still carry on with our lives, try to achieve our ambition and uncover our potential!
It could be about pursuing our studies, start a new business, or try to get a promotion at our workplace. The thing that we have to remember is that we have so much untapped potential that is not dependent on whether we have a man by our side or not!

I'm not saying that women should live without men, no, of course not.
What I'm trying to say is that women should pursue their own endeavours and if by some twist of fate that our Mr. Right should happen to come along, then so be it.

If he hasn't appeared yet, don't worry.
Remember that God has a bigger plan for all of us and if He says that we will meet our Mr. Right , we will meet him sooner or later.

To all those women out there who are still clinging on to the jerks in their lives..just think, is it really worth it? What are you truly afraid of? Being alone? Being ostracised by society?

The reality hits you when you realise that you can't stand his philandering ways or his constant lies or the way he either mentally or physically abuses you...

When you yourself have come to the realisation that enough is enough, then make the decision that is the best for you!
Everything that happens to us is a direct effect of our own decisions or indecisions..

Life is all about decisions. Making the decision to be in a loveless relationship that is full of lies and deceit is only a recipe for future heartache, resentment and disaster.
However being alone is an even more frightening idea for some women.

Whatever decision a woman makes, she must remember that it is she and she alone that makes the decision and not anyone else. In making a decision there will always be risks involved.
Weigh the pros and the cons and remember that only you will have to live with your decision and no one else.

Expectations

Someone recently told me how hard it is to live up to others' expectations of them.
Yes, it is never easy because when we are trying to please others or trying to fulfill their expectations we do tend to struggle to live up to their high standards.
Especially when we are young, we do tend to want to make others around us happy.

However as we grow older we realise that this is indeed a heavy burden.
A friend of mine told me that we cannot make others happy because in the process we will be unhappy instead.
Being a martyr is good to a certain extent but we must remember that we must make ourselves happy too!
What is life if our sole aim is to make others happy?

What we must remember is to give our best in whatever we do and leave the rest to God to decide our destiny.
If we think there is room for improvement, then of course we should strive to improve ourselves.
Nevertheless we should not be too hard on ourselves when we fail to hit the mark.
We are only human and we learn through our mistakes.
In time, we will gradually improve on our weaknesses.

We must also remember that we have a lot of strengths too!
Don't merely focus on our weaknesses because by doing so, of course we are going to develop a complex!
As humans we are not perfect but that should not be an excuse for us not to improve ourselves.
The thing is we must strike a balance between improving our weaknesses and realising that we have strengths too!
The only person we are competing against is ourselves.
So the next time we feel down..remember that we also have our own unique strengths!

Plan for the Future

Most women don't really plan for their future.
This is a huge mistake!

We cannot predict what is going to happen in the future.
We must safeguard ourselves by planning for our financial future especially.

It's not that hard to save a few hundred ringgit every month. Although this sum might seem small and insignificant or to some, it seems exorbitant...it is actually a prudent move to set aside a portion of your hard earned money each month.

These days, women are spoilt for choice in terms of what they can do with their money.
No, it's not shopping although most women would agree that it is what they would prefer to do with their money.

I'm talking about saving our money in banks to gain interest or even investing them.
It's extremely tempting to splurge our money on that much desired handbag or shoes but isn't it wiser to see our money grow with each passing day instead?
In the end, we are the ones laughing all the way to the bank!

So before we spend our money on anything, think of how it would multiply if it was working for us.
So women out there, be more prudent with your money!

Surround yourself with positive people!

Everyone out there knows that we are attracted to positive energy and that when we are positive-minded we tend to see opportunities rather than the opposite.

In order to be happy and achieve our goals, we must surround ourselves with people that lift our spirits !
Doesn't it just drag you down when you're so happy with something, a wet blanket comes along and just kills your enthusiasm?!
My advice is to just listen to what they have to say and then to simply forget what they've said.
Of course we must weigh the pros and cons but we must also remember that nothing happens to those who just sit and wait!

Take action! Do something! Be positive!
And before you know it, you would've achieved your ambition!

Setting a Target

Life is more meaningful when we have a goal in life.

Having a target helps us stay focus on what we really want out of life, what we expect from it.

Once we have decided what it is we truly want and what we are willing to do to achieve it

we must stay on course and never be swayed by other things that might tempt us to veer off course..

It is tempting to throw in the towel and forget about our goals when life has thrown us a curveball...

It is so tempting to say 'It was just not meant to be..'



But what we tend to forget is that Rome wasn't built in a day!

We must be persistent because persistence will enable us to achieve what we truly want in life!

So, the first thing is to think about what we want in life.

Then, decide the steps on how to achieve it. Be realistic about what we can and cannot achieve.

Next, begin..take that first step.

The first step is always the hardest but we should all try to get out of our comfort zone.

Then, pray for guidance and that He will help us achieve our goals.

Finally, wait for the result and accept whatever result life has to offer us.

Remember that through effort, persistence and a lot of prayer to God we can achieve what we want.

However if the outcome is not what we have desired, we must remember that God has determined it as thus and we should all find solace in the thought that God knows more than us, that He knows what is best for all of us!

The Importance of Being Cheerful

To the pessimists out there who are probably sneering at my topic of the day, well...
just remember that the only person losing out on all the happiness in this world is only you.

So what if life had given you a rough deal? There are others who had experienced something even worse and yet they still have some optimism in their hearts.

If we are sick we can just go to the doctor and get a prescription.
But what happens when it is our souls that are sick?

This is the very cause of all the unhappiness, pessimism and scepticism in this world.

However when and if we choose to be cheerful and have a sunny disposition we will find that the world and those around us will respond in kind.
Suddenly that sour-faced ogre that we see everyday in the corridor turned out to be a kind and nice person after all.

What I'm trying to say here is to give others a chance. We can do this by just smiling and saying something as simple as 'Hi' or 'How are you?'
We tend to think that this sort of thing is insignificant and a waste of time but actually there are tons of people out there who appreciate a kind word or gesture that we show to them.

Anyway, studies have shown that having a sunny disposition helps us live a longer and healthier life! So, go ahead..make someone's day. Smile and say 'hi' to them! They might just say 'Hi' back and who knows, you might even make a new friend.

Forgiveness

When we talk about forgiveness, it shouldn't just be about forgiving what others have done towards us but it is also about seeking forgiveness from God and from ourselves.
Sometimes when we finally accept the fact that no one is perfect, we will be more at peace with ourselves.
When someone had wronged us, we should forgive them because at times we have also wronged others either unintentionally or otherwise. When we remember our own weaknesses, we will tend to be more forgiving towards others.

At times we must also accept the fact that we are not perfect and that we make mistakes that have dire consequences in the future. What we must remember is not to repeat the same mistake twice and then, move on with our life. We must forgive ourselves because life is all about learning from past mistakes.

But what happens if we don't forgive?
Then, whatever negative feelings within us will start to fester and this will only harm ourselves in the end. Life is short and we shouldn't be so resentful of what had happened because everything that happened had happened for a reason.

Obviously, we can't change the past but what we can change is our perception of the past and to forge ahead anyway.
I know it's easier said than done but it's not impossible.
Like what Napoleon said, the word 'impossible' only exists in the dictionary of fools.

So, to everyone out there..start forgiving ourselves and others.
You might just find that life is indeed better and that it's not as bad as it seems after all.

To my friends and students

Some of you commented that it's hard to adjust to a new enviroment..
Just remember that you are not alone. Everyone goes through his or her own personal hell. It's just that some choose not to show it to others while others just silently wish that their problems will go away.
The thing is try not to feel too overwhelm and if you feel like it, just have a good cry. It's very cathartic. You'll feel tons better!
What I usually do is to write down how I feel, have a good cry, find a good solution to my problems and pray to God. Try saying a prayer to God, He always listens and somehow you will just feel so much better about everything and you realise that the sky is blue again and that the sun is shining!

Happy Holidays!!

To my friends and former students who are wondering where I am now..well, I am at the Perak campus. I've just transferred here this semester.

To all the women out there, take a break and do something extra special for yourself!
As women, we often do so many special things for others that we forget to pamper ourselves!
Well, isn't it high time that you all do something nice for yourself?
Go to a spa, have a facial, buy a good book, go shopping for something that you don't need! Of course the men in your life would probably disagree but then, they ARE men. They just don't understand a woman's need to have a new pair of shoes just because we like them! Hint, don't bring a man when you want to go shopping. Bring your friends instead!

So, what are you waiting for? Stop reading my blog, go out there and do something wonderful for yourself! You definitely deserve it!!

Stop complaining!

Some people just love to complain incessantly!
I just don't understand this kind of people.
It's as if they think life has been so incredibly unfair to them that they are somehow victims of life.
oh, please..

Everyone has problems and we are miserable because of them but it doesn't mean that we have to make others miserable too! God has given us a brain to figure things out. God didn't give it to us for us to just complain about things in our life.

Then, there are those that think they are so perfect that they love to find fault in everyone and everything. Well, if you were born perfect (which none of us are) then, by all means do complain until you are blue in the face.
If you aren't perfect, like the rest of the human population of this world, I strongly suggest that you become more proactive and find a better solution to whatever problem that you have.
Please spare the rest of us from listening to your long boring tirade of how the world is so unfair to lil' ol' you.
Please.